Lose It Laughing

Hello, my name is Phyllis and for the past twenty years I’ve been doing stand-up comedy while raising my two sons, two dogs and potty training my husband.

I’ve also traveled the country speaking to diabetes patients, educators, nurses, and doctors about obesity and health issues, adding humor to these very serious subjects.

Now I’m on a mission because I’m all about funny and… FAT ISN’T FUNNY.

I’ve been fighting my weight my entire life and looking back I’d say it’s a fight worth fighting.   My Mother took me to my pediatrician in third grade and he put me on diet pills. I wasn’t obnoxious enough already and was put on heavy duty amphetamines … SPEED!

That was just the start of my dieting experiences.

Listen, I didn’t make up these cockamamy ( COCK-A-MAY-ME…Mixed up, muddled, ridiculous) rules here on Earth. Personally I love God but I feel he created Earth as his own personal Comedy Club. Oh Yeah! He’s got the time, he’s got the real estate… he knows that life is eternal, so basically he is just messing with us. When he needs a good laugh he tunes into his Cosmic Comedy Club. I can’t think of any other explanation… can you?

I mean everyone knows life is backwards. It’s all pretty much a joke, so don’t take it too seriously. You’re actually going through this existence to develop a sense of humor. What happened was, there was a whole crop of veggies that came up tasteless: celery, mushrooms, lettuce, cabbage, broccoli, cauliflower, eggplant … to mention a few. God must have thought it was a riot to make these veggies our healthy, low-fat foods.

Like I said, I didn’t make up the rules but I know I can help fight this battle of the bulge with some laughs along the way.

Laughter has been described as the orgasmof the soul. So make sure you have plenty of laughing orgasms. Rent, record, or buy funny movies.Collect videos of your favorite comedians. Nowadays you can just “You Tube” yourfavorites. Some of the people that do it for me you might not have even heardof. I tell people it’s not like the old days when you knew all the Comedianslike Don Rickles, Alan King, Henny Youngman. I love Judy Gold, Kevin James,Brain Regan, Andy Kindler and Lisa Lampanelli. Comedy is like music it strikes achord and everyone likes something different. I actually got to open up for three of those comic’s that was a wonderful experience. Brian Regan,  Kevin James and Andy Kindler. I always like to play games with myself like “What three Comedy movies would you selectif that’s all who had to watch for eternity. Wow, I know number one is

“What About Bob”..with my hero Bill Murray and Richard Dreyfuss

Than I have an eleven way tie with movies I watch over and over again and they always make me laugh.

“ThePatsy”……….with Jerry Lewis
“Nightshift……….with Michael Keaton
“Mr.Mom”……….with Michael Keaton
“Clifford”…………with Martin Short
“CaddyShack”……….with Rodney Dangerfield
“CableGuy”………..with Jim Carey
“Made”………….with Vince Vaughn
“FunnyGirl”………..with Barbra Streisand
“FunnyLady”………with Barbara Streisand
“Stripes”………..with Bill Murray and JohnCandy
“Planes Trainsand Automobiles”..Steve Martin & John Candy

Wow very excited to kick off this website and be able to inspire people to change their lifestyle. Who better than me? I’ve been on weight plans all my life.  When I was a kid, my mother had me on diet pills in third grade.  I wasn’t obnoxious enough, I was the class clown and I was being sent to school on heavy duty amphetamines.  This was 1962 and 1200 calorie diet was really tough between the Tab Diet Soda and Rye Crisp Crackers YUK! I joined Weight Watchers when I was 14 and I became a lifetime member. I hit my goal for 10 minutes; my mother almost got a speeding ticket trying to get me weighed in ASAP! Yes because when you reach your goal at Weight Gainers (My husband calls it) you never have to pay to join again only the weekly fee if you should be over goal weight.

Tips to Not Lose Weight Or Gain More Weight

1. There is a magic pill. Buy every over the counter Miracle Promise until you hit upon one that works.
2. Never ask anyone what was their motivation to lose weight. Their story will be a waste of time, time you could spend overeating.
3. Don’t drink 6 to 8 cups of water a day. Try and drink as much fruit juice as you can along with regular or diet pop. Always try and drink things with High Fructose Corn Syrup and Artificial Flavors.
4. Always believe all food labels you read. Remember if it says it’s healthy it has to be healthy.
5. Keep fattening and trigger foods around all the time. You will be able to resist.
6. Never observe thin people eating …you have nothing to learn.
7. Eat fast …the faster you eat the more you can stuff in.
8. Never exercise it’s a complete waste of time.
9. Always leave a buffet over stuffed that way you will feel like you got your moneys worth.
10. 10.  Make sure you watch TV or play video games as much as possible. It’s much better to be a good at those things than to get any physical activity

Okay I’m kidding so let’s reverse these tips and you will have a great start but my number one question is “WHAT IS YOUR WHY?” really pick your brain and make sure you have some great reason WHY you want to lose weight because it is not easy it’s a fight everyday but

“The Man who says he can and they man who says he can’t …are both right!”

Let’s do this one step at a time.

So of course I was kidding with my ten top tips…TTT….but lets reverse a few and I’m sure you will get the hang of it.

1. There is no magic pill never was never will be…you want to lose weight and keep it off you will have to change your eating habits and lifestyle once and for all.
2. If you encounter someone who has lost weight and has kept it off engage them in conversation and see if there is something you can learn.
3. The water is a must 6 to 8 cups a day. I do know why weight reduction requires this because you’re so busy going to the bathroom you don’t have time to eat.
4. Read food labels the fewer ingredients the better. Stay away from Anything that says HIGH FRUTOSE CORN SYRUP AND PARTIALLY HYDROGENATED. Just because something says it’s healthy doesn’t mean it is.
5.  Of course get anything out of the house that can set you off….remember “One is too much and a thousand isn’t enough!” How many times I thought I could eat one chip and than 2 giant bags later I was overdosing.
6. Watch thin people they have a whole different way of eating observe them. Now if they are throwing up after every meal that is not an example to follow.
7. Eat slowly I had a friend who just shoveled in the food and he died an early death. He said he liked to eat fast because his food got cold quickly….so did he.
8. Exercise and move as often as you can we were designed to be active.
9. Try having one plate at an all can eat Buffett. Okay one plate of salad and one plate of food. It will be a new freedom you will soon learn to enjoy.
10. Turn off the TV and get busy with an activity. Too much of American watching people dance, and play sports, and sing. Turn of the TUBE and start engaging in your own activities.